An Open Letter to the Fine Folks at the Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Shell Station: Sorry for Making a Scene
Dear fine folks at the Shell station in Portsmouth,
Do you ever have those days where everything seems a little harder than it needs to be? Simple tasks require so much effort! For me, this usually occurs after a few days of sleep deprivation. Well, last Friday was one of those days. Something occurred at your fine establishment and it has been weighing heavy on my mind. It’s time I get it off my chest.
I’ll walk you through what happened but first allow me to set the stage. (aka try to defend my actions) Last week was a very busy one (in a good way!) We had Luke Bryan ticket stops Monday and Wednesday, we hosted a concert at Bernie’s Beach Bar Thursday, AND we hosted a WOKQ Sessions with Tyler Braden at the station on Friday. Your girl hasn’t been getting the sleep she should and that’s totally on me. I struggle with this every single Summer. It’s still so light out when I should be hitting the hay and I just want to stay out and play!
Anyway, the AC in my car hasn’t been working and I didn’t have time to take it to the shop so I was driving my husband’s car all week (he is still working from home). As a thank you I thought I would do the kind wifely thing and fill up his tank for him on Friday! I pulled up to your fine establishment, the Shell station on route 1 in Portsmouth. As soon as I got out of my car I realized the gas tank was on the other side of the car. I channeled my best Homer Simpson and exclaimed “DOH!” Fellow pumpers noticed this moment of stupidity and I felt like shouting “It’s my husband’s car!” but then I thought to myself, “Nobody cares, Kira. Don’t make it weird”.
I got into my car and pulled over to a different pump, this time with the gas tank on the appropriate side. I pulled out the nozzle and attempted to insert it into the hole thing. My 12-year-old brain wants to call it a Gas Hole but I know that is not correct. The nozzle was not fitting into said hole and I was really struggling. I thought to myself, “DANG! They do not make it easy to put gas into a Jeep!” A fellow pumper watched me for a few minutes and then finally shouted across the way, “That pump is only for Diesel!” I look at the pump and sure enough, the word “DIESEL” was printed as clear as day and not only that, the pump was an entirely different color. I smiled, wanting to die inside, and yelled “Oh man, thank you! That would have been very bad!”. He gave me a look that said “Yes, crazy lady. I don’t know how you get yourself dressed in the morning”, which I deserved. I ended up driving away and trying again at another gas station down the road where I was successful. I was too filled with shame to stick around.
I am sorry to those innocent souls who had to witness my stupidity. And I'm sorry for driving away and not giving you my business after that entire ordeal. I intend to come back and fill my tank exclusively at your gas station from now on. Again, I apologize for my behavior and hope to fill up with you real soon.
Your pump challenged pal,
PS: Shoutout to the guy who told me I was about to put Diesel into my husband's Jeep. I don't think he would ever let me borrow his car again if I had. You're a hero.